One of the reasons I’m addicted to traveling is because I feel so good. I feel alive and like every day is my birthday. The days go slow and are filled with wonder, beauty and adventure. I have energy and my brain is clear. Lately I’ve been thinking about what the reasons for that could be. I ask myself how it could be possible for me to walk or hike 11 miles a day for weeks (with some days off) when on the road, but when home, I could have days feeling crappy with barely enough energy to do what is required of me. I think it has also confused some people close to me to think that maybe my illness isn’t really so bad. Maybe I just need to de-stress?
The answer is I don’t really know, but I’ll take a stab at it here with some theories. I’d love to hear from you if you have had similar experiences and how you interpret it. Has this ever happened to you? If we can figure it out perhaps we can adjust our (alas) non-vacation life to feel better.
Being outside
First off, when I travel I’m OUTSIDE, like all day outside. I’m away from mold, chemicals, electrical devices and artificial lighting and I’m breathing fresh air and soaking up vitamin D ALL DAY. Whether it’s hiking a beach side trail in Costa Rica or walking the streets of New Orleans or swimming in a waterfall pool in Fiji (yeah, just reading that made me feel really lucky) it is not recycled HVAC air in a tiny studio with florescent lights or a dark performance hall with bright overhead lights blazing into my eyes firing off my nervous system. My doctor tells me that HVAC systems are a breeding ground for molds and then you get to breathe that nasty air all day. Even if they’re not it’s no substitute for outdoor oxygen. Maybe as modern humans we underestimate how much direct sunlight we actually need. But when it’s winter who wants to go outside? and the days are so short!
Mold
After I returned from a five week road trip last summer feeling great, immediately a day or two later I was miserable off and on in bed. A month later we ripped up the carpet in my bedroom and found traces of mold on the back, so that definitely could be why I so quickly succumbed to sickness, but it’s not like I returned to robust health after ripping them up either, although it did make a difference. Lynchburg, VA, bless its beauty, is a verdant little corner of USA where lots of molds and allergens flourish. However, the problem with placing too much blame on its location as the cause for my misery is that I spent three weeks backpacking in Costa Rica where nothing ever dries and I felt great. It doesn’t get greener or wetter than Costa Rica during the rainy season, and if you want to smell something stinky, just leave your clothes on the line overnight. Why is this?
Mental and Physical Stress
As much as I may joke about that my friends or family may think I just need to de-stress, there is a lot of truth in that. I work as a free-lance violinist and teacher and I am constantly under stress to learn music by deadlines and to perform at a high level. That is just inherently stressful even at one’s healthiest mentally and physically, and I work a lot with few days off. Man, it’s just intense. By contrast the summer when I adventure in the US or around the world, every day is like the best day of my life and because my trips keep getting longer, I’m having the best days of my life for a pretty long time. So, now we have being outside all day plus no stress. Sounds great right? The weight of the world has lifted, leaving me light and free as a bird.
The next big thing I see is that a la vie normale I am physically burdening myself by playing or teaching the violin all day long. Playing the violin is quite demanding on the body and with Lyme/mold symptoms compounding with possible old repetitive strain injuries my body locks up and does not recover well post intensive exercise (practice). Stress begins to stack upon stress until my body is at the place where it starts to do upper body twitches, shakes and spasms, physically maxed out at the drop of a hat, or in this case a smell, a bright light or one more minute of practice.
The upward spiral allows for exercise
A difficult thing about being ill is that exercise becomes a challenge. Momentum is difficult to achieve because two great days could be followed by two bad days. Just when I think I have enough strength to exercise and am mentally gearing up for it I get side-swiped and feel crappy (although lately that is changing!! ). Even though I believe that exercise is essential for regaining health, doing so seems sometimes like an insurmountable challenge. How is it that I can walk and hike for miles day after day when I travel? My best guess? I think this is all part of the upward spiral.
Feeling good consistently allows me to be constantly moving which only sends me higher up the spiral to feeling good to being able to constantly move. Plus, walking and non-strenuous hiking is about the most gentle form of exercise on the body. It’s the most natural thing in the world. We are made to walk and step up. It’s mostly anaerobic and the demands are consistent.
During my past cross-country trip the weather was warm in many of the cities we toured, naturally inclining us to a southern pace of walking. We made jokes that each town had its own pace, and none was as slow as St. Augustine. So the way I see it, I was constantly moving in as non-stressful, gentle way on the body as possible. Slowly this added strength so that weeks later taking a more strenuous hike in Zion National Park was possible.
Protocols/die off
Another significant reason for feeling better while traveling is that I have put all protocols on hold. The thing with Lyme and mold illness is that the process of purging the body of all bio and mycotoxins actually makes one feel worse. All that crud dying inside of you causes an array of symptoms until it can all get out. The liver is often overloaded and can’t handle the sudden onslaught of garbage. It is not pretty people. In fact I spent the majority of the last two years feeling awful simply because I was often in the throes of die off. But that’s just the nature of treating the illness. Feeling bad while doing a protocol is often a sign that the protocol is working. Twisted huh? Anyway, having a respite from die off and an overburdened liver is a joy–even if it means halting progress in this area for a time.
Not many demands
I guess this could go under the category of stress in a way, but I think it’s slightly different. While adventuring, the hardest thing I’d have to deal with is a tossing and turning, bunk-shaking hostel mate or that I couldn’t find what I was looking for in a chaotically packed car. It’s easy to feel good when anything which if put to the test would reveal symptoms never was challenged. It doesn’t necessarily mean that I was functioning entirely better, only that few buttons were being pushed which would reveal the true nature of my health. Just like how in life when everything is going our way our true character is not revealed.
But while traveling was my health really all good?
If I think about it as honestly as I can, there were still negative symptoms which have manifested while away from home. Last summer, after 2 weeks of traveling and physical exercise I did begin to exhibit major electrolyte depletion. One really close call was at Bryce where I became very dizzy, like I was on some drug and had to hold on to my friend to bring me into the restaurant where I was able to recharge a bit after eating. I was chugging the electrolytes during that trip but still I had occasional episodes like that and some muscle cramping.
Same vacation my vision was a mess. I had to change prescriptions mid trip, did not feel right driving, unsettled, hard to describe like there was a weird brain/vision connection (not unheard of with Lyme) and also a new fear of heights possibly brought on by the brain/vision issues. I also developed night blindness after 3 weeks.
In Carlsbad Caverns the air at the bottom of the cavern began to cause brain fog. And in general although I felt overall better than usual, I could tell that my energy level still was not where it should be, and especially in relationship to my companion. Then again she was 26!
However, these maladies certainly did not prohibit me from living spectacular adventures for which experiences and memories I am forever grateful.
Making changes now, is that kind of life even possible?
So if being outside all the time while constantly moving with zero stress and no demands is the secret to optimal health it doesn’t sound like I have a chance, right? That doesn’t resemble real life at all does it? But perhaps it does offer some clues. Ultimately, I want to heal from Lyme, mold illness, inflammation, reactive nervous system, weakened immune system/gut and any repetitive strain injuries, but maybe understanding that which helped me to have the best optimal health while dealing with these illnesses and thus making even incremental changes will aid in my healing and even after allow me to maintain vibrancy and flourish.
So I need to ask these questions: can I be outside more? move more? and decrease physical and mental stress from my life? The implementation would not be easy and would require creativity, a vision, commitment and discipline. Over the next several weeks I am going to ponder these ideas and report back to you to see what changes I am able to make!
What about you? Are you able to get outside and move? Have you managed to tone down the stress in your life? Any avid travelers who have managed to implement aspects of a simple life into regular life? I’d love to hear from you your wisdom in the comment section below!
Gonna Get Well 